COACH MCMAHON — OUT OF THE CLOSET??? (UPDATE)
UPDATE: Ariel Mutha-Tafoya of Fantasy Sports News published a story today claiming the following FAUX News story published yesterday is false. FAUX News denies the allegation and stands by its story. Hence, FAUX News has re-posted its story in its entirety. FAUX News and Bill O'Really hold themselves to the highest standards of fantasy news and journalistic integrity. Ariel Mutha-Tafoya, on the other hand, has failed to follow proper journalistic practices and has violated the high standards of fantasy news and journalistic integrity. She may have fallen victim to the shenanigans of the illegitimate son of Dick Cheney, also known as Boyd X. Biggs, who is known for spreading false and libelous stories. Faux News is investigating and has contacted authorities for possible criminal prosecution.
Yesterday's story reads as follows:
Nashvegas — In a development that has rocked the NFFA and all of professional football, Coach Jim McMahon of the East Nashville Black Dogs has come out of the closet wearing a pantsuit belonging to Sea Hogs president Hillary Clinton.
Finally putting to rest the rumors that have surrounded his sexuality, McMahon announced his gayness on the cover of the prestigious People magazine while holding his new baby boy Bruce who was given birth recently by a surrogate mother artificially inseminated by McMahon.
Questions of McMahon's manhood arose several weeks ago when a photo of the Black Dogs coach strutting the catwalk in a light blue pantsuit appeared in a local gay-pride newspaper. The photo was taken at a fashion show to raise money for AIDS Awareness Week. Said fashion designer Pepe Lepeu who observed the event, "That pantsuit fit him perfectly. I didn't expect his behind to fill out the seat, but apparently all those fruity drinks at the local clubs and his penchant for heavy breakfasts gave him just the right curves."
McMahon's light blue pantsuit was rumored to belong to his friend Hillary Clinton, president of the Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs. When asked about the photo, Hillary appeared shocked. "When he told me he wanted to get into my pantsuit, I had no idea he wanted to WEAR it. All of his phone calls to me at 3:00 AM weren't booty calls, . . . he was trying to STEAL my wardrobe. I knew I shouldn't have let him pick up my laundry," she said disgustedly.
Whether Coach McMahon's revelation will have any effect on his coaching job with East Nashville remains to be seen. Black Dogs owner William D. Money could not be reached for comment.
Yesterday's story reads as follows:
Nashvegas — In a development that has rocked the NFFA and all of professional football, Coach Jim McMahon of the East Nashville Black Dogs has come out of the closet wearing a pantsuit belonging to Sea Hogs president Hillary Clinton.
Finally putting to rest the rumors that have surrounded his sexuality, McMahon announced his gayness on the cover of the prestigious People magazine while holding his new baby boy Bruce who was given birth recently by a surrogate mother artificially inseminated by McMahon.
Questions of McMahon's manhood arose several weeks ago when a photo of the Black Dogs coach strutting the catwalk in a light blue pantsuit appeared in a local gay-pride newspaper. The photo was taken at a fashion show to raise money for AIDS Awareness Week. Said fashion designer Pepe Lepeu who observed the event, "That pantsuit fit him perfectly. I didn't expect his behind to fill out the seat, but apparently all those fruity drinks at the local clubs and his penchant for heavy breakfasts gave him just the right curves."
McMahon's light blue pantsuit was rumored to belong to his friend Hillary Clinton, president of the Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs. When asked about the photo, Hillary appeared shocked. "When he told me he wanted to get into my pantsuit, I had no idea he wanted to WEAR it. All of his phone calls to me at 3:00 AM weren't booty calls, . . . he was trying to STEAL my wardrobe. I knew I shouldn't have let him pick up my laundry," she said disgustedly.
Whether Coach McMahon's revelation will have any effect on his coaching job with East Nashville remains to be seen. Black Dogs owner William D. Money could not be reached for comment.
