BREAKING NEWS: SCOUTS IN STRIKING DISTANCE

BREAKING NEWS: SCOUTS IN STRIKING DISTANCE
Alamo Baptists in emergency prayer vigil

By Lenny Lopez, Fantasy News Network

ALAMO, TEXAS — Members of the First Baptist Church of Alamo gathered tonight in a hastily called prayer vigil seeking to rally the hometown Scouts to victory in Cambridge over the Animals.

Sources confirm that the vigil was called by Eudora "Meemaw" Murrman, a longtime member of the church. In an email sent late this afternoon to church members, Murrman wrote: "With Thurman's team now within striking distance of victory, God has called us to bring them the rest of the way to the Promised Land. We need at least 200 faithful prayer warriors to pray for victory and holy annointing on Thur Murr.

"Remember that the Animals stand for everything that God opposes: Drugs, communism, atheism, sodomy, abortion, and Yankees."

As of 7 p.m. CDT, more than 1,200 prayer warriors were praying and singing outside the church. "God bless our boys and God bless Thur Murr," said one woman who identified herself as Sister Tricia Nixon.

FSN will have more details as they develop.