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| Green owner Dave Goodrow (left) pauses to enjoy the thought of stripping his bitter rival, Corsairs owner Mojo D (right, File Photo), of the 2014 NFFA championship. |
FSN Sports
In what appears to be a bandwagon effect begun by the 12th Avenue Bakers, the Iowa Green today became the latest team to sue the NFFA in an effort to overturn the Corsairs’ second title in three years. Their allegation: In violation of its own rules, the league allowed Mojo D’s team to play all year with “underinflated balls.”
Citing a little-known provision in the NFFA Official Rule Book and Owners’ Manual 3.0, the lawsuit alleges that the Corsairs failed the portion of the mandatory drug testing for league owners that stipulates a minimum testosterone level of 100 nanograms, the average score for a prepubescent male. The policy also requires league owners to test positive for at least one controlled substance.
The suit claims that the league took no action after learning that Corsairs owner Mojo D tested below the minimum T-level on three different occasions during the season. The suit, filed Friday morning in the courtroom of federal judge Naomi Morningstar — the same judge who will decide the Bakers’ lawsuit against the league — offered no details on how this information had been obtained.
“Let’s just say that someone had the balls to come forward,” said Green owner Dave Goodrow at a noon press conference at Brown’s Diner. “Thank God the NFFA has a Citizen Four” — a reference to the new documentary film about former NSA contractor Edward Snowden, who now serves as Director of Scouting for the West Nashville Beelzebubbas.
“Look,” Goodrow continued, “that minimum T requirement is in the rulebook for a reason. It goes to the whole character and integrity of this league. I mean, when we unveiled our Green-brand meggings last year, we helped people understand what ‘sack yardage’ in the NFFA is all about, and I can tell you it’s not just about football, OK? Mojo is ‘sackless’ and gets away with it? That’s not right. We can’t afford to let our league brand be diminished by underinflated balls.”
Declining to take any questions from the media, Goodrow shouted on his way out, “You can’t even order huevos at The Palm. That should tell you something!”
The suit seeks to require the NFFA to void the results of all games played last season by the Corsairs, including the championship game in which the Corsairs defeated the Beelzebubbas.
The lawsuit filed last month by the Bakers seeks a similar result, alleging that the Corsairs violated league rules limiting team personnel to 160 hours online per week. It was unclear whether the two suits might be combined by Judge Morningstar.
As of this writing, Corsairs’ team officials have not responded to repeated requests for comment.
Reached at the league’s offices, Acting NFFA Commissioner Bill Money said, “We haven’t seen the suit yet, so we can’t comment, but we will scrotunize it, er, I mean, scrutinize it, very carefully.”
Citing a little-known provision in the NFFA Official Rule Book and Owners’ Manual 3.0, the lawsuit alleges that the Corsairs failed the portion of the mandatory drug testing for league owners that stipulates a minimum testosterone level of 100 nanograms, the average score for a prepubescent male. The policy also requires league owners to test positive for at least one controlled substance.
The suit claims that the league took no action after learning that Corsairs owner Mojo D tested below the minimum T-level on three different occasions during the season. The suit, filed Friday morning in the courtroom of federal judge Naomi Morningstar — the same judge who will decide the Bakers’ lawsuit against the league — offered no details on how this information had been obtained.
“Let’s just say that someone had the balls to come forward,” said Green owner Dave Goodrow at a noon press conference at Brown’s Diner. “Thank God the NFFA has a Citizen Four” — a reference to the new documentary film about former NSA contractor Edward Snowden, who now serves as Director of Scouting for the West Nashville Beelzebubbas.
“Look,” Goodrow continued, “that minimum T requirement is in the rulebook for a reason. It goes to the whole character and integrity of this league. I mean, when we unveiled our Green-brand meggings last year, we helped people understand what ‘sack yardage’ in the NFFA is all about, and I can tell you it’s not just about football, OK? Mojo is ‘sackless’ and gets away with it? That’s not right. We can’t afford to let our league brand be diminished by underinflated balls.”
Declining to take any questions from the media, Goodrow shouted on his way out, “You can’t even order huevos at The Palm. That should tell you something!”
The suit seeks to require the NFFA to void the results of all games played last season by the Corsairs, including the championship game in which the Corsairs defeated the Beelzebubbas.
The lawsuit filed last month by the Bakers seeks a similar result, alleging that the Corsairs violated league rules limiting team personnel to 160 hours online per week. It was unclear whether the two suits might be combined by Judge Morningstar.
As of this writing, Corsairs’ team officials have not responded to repeated requests for comment.
Reached at the league’s offices, Acting NFFA Commissioner Bill Money said, “We haven’t seen the suit yet, so we can’t comment, but we will scrotunize it, er, I mean, scrutinize it, very carefully.”
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