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| Black Dogs coach Jim McMahon took a page from his past last night at The Cherry Bomb Café, drinking Touchdown Tasers™ and entertaining the local media. |
By R.E. Porter
Associated Web Press
As has been widely reported, these have not been the best of days for East Nashville Black Dogs coach Jim McMahon, who is battling concussion-induced dementia. But last night, he was in rare form at The Cherry Bomb Cafe, just like old times.
With the club's owner QCurl Sharif missing and declared dead, The Bomb had been kind of dead, as well. But McMahon went by his old stomping grounds last evening around 9 p.m. and finding only a handful of patrons there, he began texting friends and local media, inviting them to join him at the club. By 10, the club was buzzing with people and the most successful coach in NFFA history was holding court from his favorite corner booth.
McMahon dropped several bombshells over the course of the evening. Here are the highlights:
• He said he has it on "good authority" the 12th Avenue Bakers plan to use the No. 1 overall pick on New England tight end Rob Gronkowski. According to McMahon, the Bakers will take Gronk "to stick it to the [Cambridge] Animals, whom the coach said were up to some draft chicanery of their own. He said he had heard Wilder the Animal planned to take St. Louis running back Tre Mason, a former Auburn player coveted by Bakers owner QCurl Sharif, with the second overall pick. He went on to say that if the Animals take Mason with the second pick, the Bakers will retaliate by using their second-round pick to select St. Louis defensive end Michael Sam, the league's first openly gay player, whom Dave the Animal had already announced was a draft target for the team.
He was asked if the draft played out that way, would the Black Dogs take Denver quarterback Peyton Manning with the third pick? "[Expletive] no," he replied, with a frown on his face. "Manning isn't Black Dogs material," he continued, disgust dripping from his voice. "We don't draft pussies."
When it was pointed out that would mean Manning would fall to the Sea Hogs, McMahon laughed so hard he fell out of the booth. "Perfect," he said when he got himself under control. "I think he would be much more at home there. It's like a womb for him."
• He also told those gathered around the booth the surprising story behind the Black Dogs eleventh-hour trade with the West Nashville Beelzebubbas. "As it so happened, the night before the trade went down, [East Nashville GM] Buddy [Ryan] and I were at Club Gitmo, having drinks at the Colt 45 Bar & Grill, when Jorgé [Linardo] came in," he recalled. "He came over to our table and told us a joke about Mojo D he had heard from Stuart Smalley. Next thing you know, he and Buddy, who have never liked one another, he and Buddy are swapping NFFA war stories and yucking it up like they were old friends. Now the tequila may have had something to do with it, but one thing led to another, and the next thing I know, they were putting together the trade. It was great."
• The East Nashville coach saved the biggest bombshell of all for last. As the party was breaking up and McMahon was preparing to leave, he said, "Oh, by the way, this will almost certainly be my last season as coach of the Black Dogs." As he headed for the door, he was peppered with questions about it, but he just waved goodbye and left the club.
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