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| (L-R) Little Jimmie Dickens, Lindsay Lohan and Donald Trump are all rumored to be interested in becoming the new owner of the 12th Avenue Bakers. |
FSN Sports
In a bizarre twist to an already odd story, Bakers superfan Bill Cheatham filed a motion in a Nashville district court Monday to have the team’s owner, QCurl Sharif declared legally dead.
Sharif, along with PR maven Faith Popcorn, has been missing ever since they were seen, along with an unidentified chimpanzee, boarding a private jet bound for Kiev, Ukraine, in early March. Sharif reportedly intended to broker a peace deal between the governments of Ukraine and Russia.
In Popcorn’s absence, sources say, the Bakers’ organization has seemed rudderless. Meanwhile, Sharif’s West End Treehouse has remained dark, and business at the legendary Cherry Bomb Café has dwindled. To compound the Bakers’ woes, members of Nashville’s expatriate Ukrainian community have held protest marches near the team’s offices on Avenue Q, calling for the organization to divest itself of the shadowy Russian investors who reportedly now own 45 percent of the franchise.
“The whole place has gone to pot, and not in a good way,” said former Bakers coach Snoop Lion when a reporter caught up with him at the Nashville Film Festival.
The turmoil, Cheatham said, led him to file his motion with the court. “For us fans, this is our opportunity,” he told FSN. “The sooner Sharif is legally dead, the sooner this organization can try to get on its feet. We need to bury the past in a deep, deep hole.”
In the wake of Sharif’s disappearance, Cheatham and a fan group known as Bakerbackers have appealed separately to NFFA Commissioner Lorena “Meemaw” Murmann to revoke QCurl’s franchise and award it to a new owner.
Murmann told FSN she was “seriously considering” the request and would make an announcement in early May. Sources close to the commissioner say Murmann has long been troubled by “the questionable people Sharif hangs out with, like Joe Biden.” Why, Murmann once wondered aloud, “can’t he be like that nice boy Mojo D?”
Several names have already surfaced as replacement owners if Murmann revokes the Bakers franchise — including Donald Trump and Lindsey Lohan. In addition, a Music Row consortium fronted by journalist/songwriter Peter Cooper has privately expressed interest in taking over the Bakers and renaming them the 12th Avenue Pickers.
“There are a number of good candidates to be the Bakers’ new owners,” Cheatham said. “I hear (former Alamo Scouts owner) ThurMurr wants to get back in the game. Little Jimmy Dickens wants it bad. (Bakers coach Rob) Bironas could be the first owner/player/coach in history. And (former NashVegas mayor) Bill Boner supposedly has a group of investors. We hope the courts or the commissioner will make this happen.
“This club has been basically dead ever since they let (former coach) Stumpy (Legg) get out the window. It’s time to move forward.”
Sharif, along with PR maven Faith Popcorn, has been missing ever since they were seen, along with an unidentified chimpanzee, boarding a private jet bound for Kiev, Ukraine, in early March. Sharif reportedly intended to broker a peace deal between the governments of Ukraine and Russia.
In Popcorn’s absence, sources say, the Bakers’ organization has seemed rudderless. Meanwhile, Sharif’s West End Treehouse has remained dark, and business at the legendary Cherry Bomb Café has dwindled. To compound the Bakers’ woes, members of Nashville’s expatriate Ukrainian community have held protest marches near the team’s offices on Avenue Q, calling for the organization to divest itself of the shadowy Russian investors who reportedly now own 45 percent of the franchise.
“The whole place has gone to pot, and not in a good way,” said former Bakers coach Snoop Lion when a reporter caught up with him at the Nashville Film Festival.
The turmoil, Cheatham said, led him to file his motion with the court. “For us fans, this is our opportunity,” he told FSN. “The sooner Sharif is legally dead, the sooner this organization can try to get on its feet. We need to bury the past in a deep, deep hole.”
In the wake of Sharif’s disappearance, Cheatham and a fan group known as Bakerbackers have appealed separately to NFFA Commissioner Lorena “Meemaw” Murmann to revoke QCurl’s franchise and award it to a new owner.
Murmann told FSN she was “seriously considering” the request and would make an announcement in early May. Sources close to the commissioner say Murmann has long been troubled by “the questionable people Sharif hangs out with, like Joe Biden.” Why, Murmann once wondered aloud, “can’t he be like that nice boy Mojo D?”
Several names have already surfaced as replacement owners if Murmann revokes the Bakers franchise — including Donald Trump and Lindsey Lohan. In addition, a Music Row consortium fronted by journalist/songwriter Peter Cooper has privately expressed interest in taking over the Bakers and renaming them the 12th Avenue Pickers.
“There are a number of good candidates to be the Bakers’ new owners,” Cheatham said. “I hear (former Alamo Scouts owner) ThurMurr wants to get back in the game. Little Jimmy Dickens wants it bad. (Bakers coach Rob) Bironas could be the first owner/player/coach in history. And (former NashVegas mayor) Bill Boner supposedly has a group of investors. We hope the courts or the commissioner will make this happen.
“This club has been basically dead ever since they let (former coach) Stumpy (Legg) get out the window. It’s time to move forward.”
LJD would kick ass and take names.
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