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| Either Cheetah Chrome (left) or Iggy Pop will be the Bakers' new head coach. |
By Man Ray Natural
The Mainline Dope
NASHVILLE—As Faith Popcorn works relentlessly to right the 12th Avenue Bakers' ship, it has been leaked that the coaching search has been narrowed to two candidates — Iggy Pop and Cheetah Chrome. Neither has previous NFFA ties, and it is believed that both would bring a more aggressive approach than was found under Snoop Lion.
And, it has been learned that Sharif has offered Lion a front office job, in an attempt to heal their relationship. Sharif is waiting to be notified by authorities as to whether he will face aggravated assault charges in a sideline incident in Cambridge two weeks ago.
Additionally, rumors are flying about the Bakers' headquarters that in a ritualistic scene at Sharif's home this weekend, theoretical balance was restored when Shiva and the owner downed several gallons of vodka, followed by the regurgitation of the beloved CurlBaby by the Great Destroyer and Restorer. Some informed observers believe — if the story is true — that a renewed relationship between Sharif and Shiva could spell trouble for Fubbi Quantz and Eckankar, as well as the volatile partnership with the Russian consortium.
Jefé had enlisted the women's group at West Nashville Church of Christ to act as prayer warriors asking Jesus to have a word with Shiva about returning CurlBaby. Lord works in mysterious ways, including vodka and vomit. Mos Ded said to be working on next prophecy. -- Barris
ReplyDeleteDean of Columbia School of Journalism tweeted this pm that "Search Narrows, Shiva Vomits" is the third greatest headline of all time, right behind "Stix Nix Hix Pix" and "Ford to NYC: Drop Dead." -- Art Bell
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