SNOOP GRANTED ASYLUM Ousted Bakers coach fears for his life

Snoop Lion arrives at the Club Gitmo compound.

By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya

FSN Sports

Developing news 

Former Bakers coach Snoop Lion, who was stabbed and then unceremoniously fired last weekend by team owner QCurl Sharif, has been granted asylum within the Club Gitmo compound, FSN has learned.

Multiple sources said Lion phoned league founder Dr. Jorgé Linardo from an undisclosed location and requested that he be allowed to live, at least temporarily, at Club Gitmo under the protection of Linardo and the West Nashville Beelzebubbas. The sources added that Lion had reason to fear for his life.

“I don’t blame him,” said one source inside the Bubbas organization. “Russian agents are trying to kill him, and then his own team owner stuck a knife in his ass.”

There was no official comment from the Bubbas organization, but sources said Lion’s living quarters were on the residential level of Club Gitmo, just down the hall from the apartments of Saddam Hussein.

“They hit it off right away,” a source said. “Saddam told Snoop not to worry and that Putin is actually the Russian word for female genitals — just like mojo in Arabic.”  For his part, the source said, Lion had offered to perform a rap version of the National Anthem by live remote at the Bubbas’ next home game.