By R.E. Porter
Associated Web Press
WASHINGTON—The office of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton issued a statement this afternoon declaring her continued allegiance to the Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs, the NFFA franchise she helmed for most of the 2008 season.
The Secretary of State was responding to a News Wire story earlier in the day that quoted Corsairs owner Mojo D as describing Clinton as a Corsairs fan who attended all the home games on the NFFA Corsair last season. The story also claimed the nation's chief diplomat intervened on his behalf with her colleagues at the State Department.
"Let me state unequivocally that I am and always will be a Sea Hogs fan," Clinton said in the official release. "The time I spent working for the franchise is among my fondest memories. After my old friend Dr. Jorge Linardo appointed me to run the team, I fell in love with the franchise and Fidalgo Island. No matter what corner of the planet I might be in, if it's football season, I'll be following the Sea Hogs."
The statement continued: "I have never met Mojo D, nor have I ever been to a Corsairs game, so I have no idea where he got the idea I'm a Corsairs fan," the cabinet secretary said. "But I did intervene in Mojo D's case at the request of his wife, the Pompatus of Love, who is a dear friend of my husband Bill. According to Bill, she wants him 'put away for good,' so after consulting Dr. Linardo, I've asked my staff to prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law.
"In addition, we were able to confirm that a man using the name Mojo D. Jones is in the U.S. on a diplomatic passport from Iceland, but I can state with certainty that the State Department had nothing to do with arranging the passport in question."
The statement concluded with a direct appeal from Clinton to the Corsairs owner. "I ask Mojo D to surrender himself to the FBI office in Nashvegas at once for questioning," she urged.
Efforts to reach Mojo D were unsuccessful. More on this story as it develops.
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