By Soren Bernyn
FSN
After notching another "ugly, ugly win," coach Sean Payton is undefeated against Jorge Division opponents. The 2012 campaign mirrors the Corsairs' 2011 playoff season when they opened with a 4-game sweep through the Jorge.
On a rare Monday off, GM Mojo D gathered the media at Corsair Distillery for a sit-down with team officials and star performers. Asked about the 4-0 start, Payton said: "No one is more surprised than me — I see what this guy (Mojo D) means by "rather be lucky than good any day": we've only cracked a buck-fiddy once, and beat some strong opponents on their off days. But it's a helluva way to spend a year in exile!"
The Corsair Artisan spirits flowed, and Payton shared some of his experience working for the mercurial Mojo D, including a black eye. "Yeah, he loves an old-fashioned fistfight to resolve disagreements — this one was over Leon Washington. He won that one, and I'm glad he did — I think I understand the Leon juju over the Bubbas now. There was no reason on paper for us to win that game, and Leon proved his value by inspiring the team. I suggested some other good luck charms, like my authentic, voodoo mojo hand, but he freaked out and was ranting something about "the monkey curse." But I'm a Leon believer - he may only play in two games this season, but he has a home here..."
And Leon Washington may be a necessary play since the Corsair locker room at the Marathon Metrodome looks like an ER. "Can you name another team that's had its top 3 draft picks on the injury list this early in the season?" Mojo D asked. "Of course you can't, but I'm sure (Commissioner William D.) Money will look it up. Still, here we are with a 2-game lead in the division, so I can't possibly complain. We've been active on the (waiver) wire, so we have some bench moving forward in the season."
The Corsair GM was oddly lucid, despite the steady flow of Corsair experimental, barrel-aged gin. It has been a big change from last year's "season at sea" aboard the luxury NFFA Corsair — necessitated by Mojo D's uncertain status with the U.S. Dept. of State. In the off-season, Corsairs fan Hilary Rodham Clinton intervened on Mojo D's behalf, and he now is back in the states on a diplomatic passport from Iceland. "Hilary didn't miss a home game on the boat — we would even navigate to be closer to her."
As Mojo D's voice trailed off in a misty, watercolor memory, he called for "another round for the ink-stained wretches!" and the week 4 Corsair media salon morphed into a whiskey-soaked "Black & White" jam session with Dan Auerbach and Jack White.
Soren,
ReplyDeletePlease check your sources. Hillary Clinton works for the Sea Hogs for several years and has told me that she never did any such thing and that she is NOT a fan of the Corsairs. Our 24-hour/day surveillance recordings and videos confirm her story and her loyalty. Please correct this story or our lawyers will be in contact.
- - Tirik