By R.E. Porter
Associated Web Press
EAST NASTY — Maybe East Nashville GM Buddy Ryan got up on the wrong side of the bed. Or maybe he was hungover. Whatever the reason, at his weekly press breakfast yesterday morning, Ryan went nuclear on QCurl Sharif and his 12th Avenue Bakers team.
"Am I the only [expletive] person who remembers that the so-called QCurl Sharif, media darling and would-[expletive]-be world leader, used to be G.Q. Denney, a worthless drug addict, mad scientist, and presumed grave robber," Ryan asked the blurry-eyed members of the media gathered at the East Nashville Shoney's across from the Dog House. "G.Q. robbed mother[expletive] graves! Are you following me here, people?" It has long been rumored that Sharif has a zombie corral in Howenwald, Tenn., where he reanimates the dead — usually deceased celebrities.
"And his teams used to set the [expletive] standard for futility in this league," Ryan continued. "He couldn't buy a [expletive] win, and believe me, he tried."
When asked why he going off on Sharif at this particular time, Ryan said, "If I had to give you all the reasons QCurl Sharif makes me puke, this press breakfast would run into the dinner hour."
When one member of the media asked if Ryan was just trying to get inside Sharif's head in advance of this weekend's game with the Bakers, he shuddered visibly at the thought, then said, "Jesus [expletive] Christ, now that would truly be a scary, [expletive] place to be."
For the remainder of the press event, the Black Dogs exec repeatedly referred to Sharif as "G.Q.," as if he might conjure up the losing spirit of the old Q.
Following the breakfast, this reporter was reminded that the bad blood between Ryan and Sharif dated back to the night of the Black Dogs first championship in 2005, when both men were arrested for streaking down Woodland Street. The GM claimed to have been drugged.
When asked for comment regarding Ryan's remarks, Bakers media maven Faith Popcorn said, "We're not concerned with the ravings of a convicted pedophile."
It should be noted that Ryan was not actually convicted of pedophilia, only arrested as a suspect.
"Am I the only [expletive] person who remembers that the so-called QCurl Sharif, media darling and would-[expletive]-be world leader, used to be G.Q. Denney, a worthless drug addict, mad scientist, and presumed grave robber," Ryan asked the blurry-eyed members of the media gathered at the East Nashville Shoney's across from the Dog House. "G.Q. robbed mother[expletive] graves! Are you following me here, people?" It has long been rumored that Sharif has a zombie corral in Howenwald, Tenn., where he reanimates the dead — usually deceased celebrities.
"And his teams used to set the [expletive] standard for futility in this league," Ryan continued. "He couldn't buy a [expletive] win, and believe me, he tried."
When asked why he going off on Sharif at this particular time, Ryan said, "If I had to give you all the reasons QCurl Sharif makes me puke, this press breakfast would run into the dinner hour."
When one member of the media asked if Ryan was just trying to get inside Sharif's head in advance of this weekend's game with the Bakers, he shuddered visibly at the thought, then said, "Jesus [expletive] Christ, now that would truly be a scary, [expletive] place to be."
For the remainder of the press event, the Black Dogs exec repeatedly referred to Sharif as "G.Q.," as if he might conjure up the losing spirit of the old Q.
Following the breakfast, this reporter was reminded that the bad blood between Ryan and Sharif dated back to the night of the Black Dogs first championship in 2005, when both men were arrested for streaking down Woodland Street. The GM claimed to have been drugged.
When asked for comment regarding Ryan's remarks, Bakers media maven Faith Popcorn said, "We're not concerned with the ravings of a convicted pedophile."
It should be noted that Ryan was not actually convicted of pedophilia, only arrested as a suspect.
