the pressure is all on the Black Dogs.
BAKERS TAKE LOW-KEY PLAYOFF PREPARATION
Dogg, Sharif on Chill Pills
By John Juan, Shiva-Reuters
NASHVILLE — As the 12th Aveue Bakers prepare for this weekend’s first-ever playoff game against the East Nashville juggernaut, special ticket package sales were brisk out of the newly re-opened Cherry Bomb Café. Head coach Snoop Dogg reportedly has been laying low, in the DoggHouse Studio with Amy Winehouse, just “chillin and letting the vizzle build.”
He has made it a point not to reveal his lineup as of this writing, despite the recent callout by the Black Dogs’ Jim McMahon. And despite a close loss to the Cambridge Animals in the season finale, the coach feels good about his team’s chances.
“I think they might actually be the ones feelin the pressure,” Dogg said, as Winehouse could be heard in a nearby bathroom. “I know the Bakes are takin it all in. Nobody is giving us a chance and man that’s the way Snoop likes to roll — it reminds me of the time some of my Compton chaps rolled on the Crips when nobody thought we had the balls to spray that gas station. The streets ran red that night — and they just might run red again grizzy grizzle.”
Owner QCurl Sharif is following Snoop’s cue as he has tried to downplay the importance of this trip to the East Nasty.
“We’ve seen what they do,” Sharif said. “They beat the daylights out of everyone. Maybe if we punch them in the mouth early — like Friday morning — we can get them on their heels. I’m with Snoop … the pressure is all on them.”
Sharif then noted that the Bakers plan on taking a healthy contingent of fans to the game. The owner himself has purchased a large block of tickets and is selling them for half-price to Cherry Bomb patrons who order two or more Touchdown Tasers with a meal, or to those who order one Terrible Chimp — the bar’s latest tribute to the fallen Furious George. The drink is reportedly built from “precious bodily fluids” and absinthe, thus pleasing to Artemis.
“Hell, we’re providing free rides to the game if people are willing to sleep here Saturday night,” Sharif said. “The first 50 people to show up will be driven to the stadium by Omar Sharif.” The actor has stayed on in an advisory capacity since election night, and has been credited by Winehouse for turning her life around, albeit a circle that has returned her to her addictions.
Sharif also indicated he would be sharing his skybox with Winehouse, Baker fanatic Neil Young and the re-animated Man In Black — Johnny Cash. Cash has been invited to perform the national anthem.
“I think we are going to shock the world this weekend,” he continued. “This is the greatest game in America. How can we lose?”
He has made it a point not to reveal his lineup as of this writing, despite the recent callout by the Black Dogs’ Jim McMahon. And despite a close loss to the Cambridge Animals in the season finale, the coach feels good about his team’s chances.
“I think they might actually be the ones feelin the pressure,” Dogg said, as Winehouse could be heard in a nearby bathroom. “I know the Bakes are takin it all in. Nobody is giving us a chance and man that’s the way Snoop likes to roll — it reminds me of the time some of my Compton chaps rolled on the Crips when nobody thought we had the balls to spray that gas station. The streets ran red that night — and they just might run red again grizzy grizzle.”
Owner QCurl Sharif is following Snoop’s cue as he has tried to downplay the importance of this trip to the East Nasty.
“We’ve seen what they do,” Sharif said. “They beat the daylights out of everyone. Maybe if we punch them in the mouth early — like Friday morning — we can get them on their heels. I’m with Snoop … the pressure is all on them.”
Sharif then noted that the Bakers plan on taking a healthy contingent of fans to the game. The owner himself has purchased a large block of tickets and is selling them for half-price to Cherry Bomb patrons who order two or more Touchdown Tasers with a meal, or to those who order one Terrible Chimp — the bar’s latest tribute to the fallen Furious George. The drink is reportedly built from “precious bodily fluids” and absinthe, thus pleasing to Artemis.
“Hell, we’re providing free rides to the game if people are willing to sleep here Saturday night,” Sharif said. “The first 50 people to show up will be driven to the stadium by Omar Sharif.” The actor has stayed on in an advisory capacity since election night, and has been credited by Winehouse for turning her life around, albeit a circle that has returned her to her addictions.
Sharif also indicated he would be sharing his skybox with Winehouse, Baker fanatic Neil Young and the re-animated Man In Black — Johnny Cash. Cash has been invited to perform the national anthem.
“I think we are going to shock the world this weekend,” he continued. “This is the greatest game in America. How can we lose?”
