MOJO NAME NEW COACH FOR PLAYOFFS

The latest Midtown Mojo coach, Otto Destruckt, prepares
to administer discipline to the hapless 3-11 Mojo.

MOJO NAME NEW COACH FOR PLAYOFFS

By Soren Bernyn, Fantasy Sports News

In another seemingly inexplicable move,the Midtown Mojo today named yet another new coach. In a brief media happy-hour at Cabana which was peppered with references to classic films, Mojo owner Mojo D announced: "The latest sacrifical lamb — er, coach — is Otto Destruckt, who is the perfect pick for our run through the losers' bracket. I would have loved to keep Otto von Bismarck, but I think QCurl has some work to do on his re-animation process. At about halftime, the coach started re-decomposing, the stench was god-awful, and when his extremities started falling off, the players just left the sidelines. But the Iron Chancellor toughed it out -- he reminded me of the Black Knight in Monty Python's Holy Grail by the end of the game."

The new coach bears a close resemblance to the robot Gort from the original The Day the Earth Stood Still, and Mojo D stated that "yeah, the producers cut him out of the new release, so he changed his name and got this gig. I'm looking forward to his motivational tactics: in his first practice, he chased (TE) Kevin Boss around the field with a laser for Boss' zero-point effort in Week 13. That's the (expletive) I live for — real accountability."

When asked about rumors that the NFFA competition committee was considering pre-emptive fines against his team for sand-bagging the next two weeks in hopes of securing the top draft pick in 2009, Mojo D channeled Captain Renault from Casablanca: "I am shocked — shocked, I tell you — to hear that Tony Soprano considers me capable of such treachery. One look at our record this year would reveal that it is totally unnecessary for us to TRY to lose any game. That said, the number one pick next season would be pretty sweet."