TRUMP BLAMES ‘MOJO C’ FOR PANDEMIC President alleges sinister ties to China and ‘public health deep state’

Fox News devoted a full half hour of coverage to President Trump's accusations concerning Ballers owner Mojo D and his ties to China. 

By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya

FSN Sports

At his first public press briefing in more than a week, President Donald Trump surprised reporters — and, apparently, his own staff — by blaming the COVID-19 pandemic on a previously unidentified culprit: Pie Town Ballers owner Mojo D.

When asked by an FSN reporter whether he planned to announce sanctions against China, Trump offered a long, rambling reply: “Well, we may also need sanctions here at home — starting with Mojo D, or as I call him, Mojo C, because C stands for China! And also Corona. You won’t read about it in the fake news media, like your channel, Fake Sports News, but the evidence is tremendous, so tremendous: We know from Hillary Clinton’s emails that Mojo C is an agent of the Chinese military. His team even played their games on a Chinese aircraft carrier. Can you believe that? And China only had one aircraft carrier. Now he’s trying to pretend it never happened by changing his team’s name all the time. I can’t even keep up with what they are now – not even Jared can. The Pie Clown Dollars? The Midtown Strollers? I don’t know. Maybe we should call them the Wuhan Ballers or the Pie Town Virus. Even his wife is Chinese – Miss Lee-Yin. That’s how blatant he is in putting America last!”

As Trump paused momentarily to catch his breath, another reporter jumped in: “Sir, since Mojo D’s team was your most hated rival when you were an NFFA owner, some people might say that this is just your resentment against Mr. D winning the championship last season. What do you say to them?”

“First of all,” Trump shot back, “the season was rigged, totally rigged. That’s why Sharif – who loves me, by the way; he calls me every week to remind me how much he loves me and the whole ‘hate Trump’ thing is just an act for weak-minded people – that’s why Sharif got them to cancel last season. It was totally rigged! 

“The fake news doesn’t report this, but General Flynn was about to expose Mojo C’s entire Chinese connection. That’s why he was talking to the Russian ambassador. But then the Deep State took him down. But now the truth is coming out thanks to my attorney general. First, Mojo C for Corona brought the virus from the Chinese military lab to this country. And then he used his connections to the Public Health Deep State – that’s what I call them, and Mojo’s family is a big name in public health in NashVegas – he and Fauci tried to wreck our economy and keep me away from rallying our people. But that’s all over now, because making America Great Again will mean Mojo C is at the bottom again. Stay tuned – or as I say, ‘Pop some corn!’”

As Trump left the podium, members of Trump’s COVID-19 task force, including NFFA owner and Corona czar Dave the Animal, looked stunned. In the back of the press room, reporters from OAN, Breitbart and Christianity Today began chanting, “Lock him up! Lock him up!” about Mojo D.

Later in the afternoon, Fox News devoted an entire half-hour segment to Trump’s accusation. A banner headline remained at the bottom of the screen: “Mojo D: Traitor or Chinese Stooge?”

Mojo D was unavailable for comment. One unconfirmed report said that he was seen entering the security gate at Club Gitmo and had been granted asylum there. FSN will have further details on this story as they become available.