FIVE TAKEAWAYS FROM WEEK ONE

Beyoncé's coaching career started with a big L.

By R.E. Porter
Associated Web Press

Week one of the the 2018 NFFA season is in the books and here are five things we observed:

1. Early faves all lose: The top four teams in Club Gitmo Sports Book's 2018 championship odds are took the L on opening weekend. South Franklin (6-1 odds) looked like a team in disarray in their 24.7-point loss to West Nashville. New coach Beyoncé may know how to line up a hot set, but she's not so hot at setting a lineup. If she had played keeper QB Russell Wilson and RB Deon Lewis, the Independents would have claimed their first win in franchise history. Instead she went with the Motor City pickmeister and Denver's Devontae, who may have been more than a mile high with only 15 total yards, and barely broke the 100-point marks a team. London (8-1) got only 67.1 points out of their entire offense in a 28.3-point loss to the Village. East Nashville and Pie Town (both 7-1) also lost, but in far less worrisome a fashion, losing tight contests that went down to the wire.

2. Something's up with the Animals: Those paying close attention may have noticed Cambridge Animals owner Dave the Animal made a slick trade for WR Keenan Allen during the predraft trading period, ran his team's successful draft, set his week one lineup with an active kicker, dropped a story slamming Mojo D, and won his opening game against Mojo D's Ballers. Yesterday he left a message for Bill Money that said in part, "I'm victorious, and you're not." All this adds up to one thing: DTA is back! After years of delegating control of the team to his son, GM Wilder the Animal, who is said to be "busy," the notorious league cofounder is back in the saddle. It's almost as if DTA is traveling backwards in time from the future and knows something. When asked by AWP if that is true, he replied, "Maybe."

3. Don't sleep on the Green: Barring QB A-Aron Rodgers missing any significant time with the injury to his knee, the Green appear to have one of the better offenses, and so far, Stuart Smalley looks like a genius for drafting Khalil Mack. And co-owner Dave Goodrow has been especially active in the free agent marketplace. Plus, in an especially scary development for the rest of the league, the Green did not have to be reminded to set their lineup in week one and have already set their lineup for week two. An engaged Green is a dangerous Green.

4. Daddies-Dogs, Part 1: New scoring record for combined points: Atlanta (213.3) and East Nashville (206.8) combined for 420.1 points in week one, which is the most combined points in NFFA history. Interestingly, the previous record of 417.4 combined points was held by the same two teams from a game in 2015 which the Black Dogs won 214.8-202.6. So the Smack Daddies' win in last weekend's shootout was a bit of payback. There has been one other game in league history in which both teams scored more than 200 points, a contest from 2011 in which the Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs defeated the then 12th Avenue Bakers, 208.5-200.

5. Daddies-Dogs, Part 2: 200-point club: With the 200-plus points the Smack Daddies and Black Dogs each put up last weekend, it brings the total of 200-point games in league history to 41. The Black Dogs, who first broke the 200-point mark in 2005 — twice, lead all teams in 200+ games with 11. The Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs are next with seven 200+ scores during their 15 years in the league, followed by the Daddies with six, the Animals with five, the Bakers and Ballers with four each, and the West Nashville Beelzebubbas and Village Green with two 200+ games apiece. The Beelzebubbas hold the record for most points scored in a game with 233.5.