An ecstatic Mojo D and the jubilant Corsairs faithful, who shut down Broadway Wednesday night after the official results sealed the Corsairs' Division crown and the chance to defend their NFFA Championship. Mojo D addressed the crowd via Skype from an "undisclosed location," which was disclosed later by TMZ FantasySports: Columbia, SC, where the Corsairs owner paid his respects to Village Green owner Donald J. Trump.
By Soren Bernyn
FSN with reporting from TMZ FantasySports
Downtown Nashville exploded with joy Wednesday -- with the official results from Week 11 NFFA games, the Downtown Corsairs clinched their second straight Linardo Division crown, and a trip to the playoffs to defend their NFFA Championship.
Mojo D addressed media and the crowd via Skype: "obviously, I am very, very proud of Ray-Ray and the team - overcoming injuries, bye weeks and bad matchups to snatch a victory in the last seconds. Ninkovich's performance has likely earned him a keeper spot - plus he is Q Curl Sharif's personal kryptonite, which just sweetens the pot."
"This victory opens the gateway to an NFFA title defense - there has never been a repeat champion, and the Corsairs intend to change that in 2015. The last three weeks of the regular season are on auto-pilot while we try to get Lucky healthy for the playoffs - he is on some experimental therapies that are getting great results. We're just gonna kick back in the front office, and see if the Daddies or Green can salvage some respectability and a long-shot playoff berth; but that's really a side-show to the Jorge blood-feuds that will determine who goes to the playoffs."
"It should be an epic sh*t-storm - just look at these teams: it appears Cambridge has lost the will to win. Two weeks of the lowest score?? I think DTA must be trying to squeeze out WTA, and has gone back to setting lineups. QCurl & the Bakers are so unaccustomed to a record over .500 that it has thrown their world out of balance. It's a testament to the ineptitude of the Linardo that the Beelzebubbas are in the hunt - the Brady-Peytie trade was the nadir of GM decisions: Mos Ded deserves a special award for idiocy. As always, the Black Dogs are dangerous when cornered, and I put nothing -- NOTHING -- past Buddy Ryan. All in all, it should be a Wang Dang Doodle in the Jorge these last three weeks."
Asked about allegations of collusion and/or intimidation with the Village Green, Mojo D's face grew dark, and he said sternly "any communication I had with Goodrow was intended to improve the competitiveness of the league. The Linardo has been a damn disgrace, our Week 11 sweep notwithstanding. And of course, some loser saw it with that weak sister Stuart Smalley: my sources tell me that Stu holds Goodrow's phone while he visits one of Goodrow-A-Go-Go's Champagne rooms - the Pussy-Whip Lounge. Amazingly, he spends even more time getting spanked there than on the field: some skirt named Heaven or Heather or something..."
Undaunted by a sketchy connection and fueled by Corsair Nashville Bourbon Old-Fashioneds, Mojo D continued: "Obobber, where art thou? Poor Tirik has disappeared from the scene - it's like he's not even trying anymore. I had been calling the FISH win 'the Thanksgiving Miracle,' but I fear there is a darker side emerging here. Since we went to decimal-point scoring, the official results from 'The Mighty Elias' (Sports Bureau) have come into play, and the Chocolate King's ownership of Elias needs an NFFA review. We won by a c*nt-hair, and giving the win to the Bakers this week would be too obvious, since he knows we are watching."
The Corsairs play the Sea Hogs at Swinofish Stadium in Fidalgo Island, but Mojo D will not be there. Corsairs Coach Ray-Ray Lewis said: "me and the boys got this motherf*cker - he needs a break. And we do too."
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