CORSAIRS CELEBRATE PLAYOFFS; Team officials decry "disinformation"

At left, Corsairs Media Diva Rosetta Stone dances with Nashville Mayor Karl Dean on the bar at The Palm; right: the crowd and liquor spilled into the streets of downtown Nashville Friday night, for the Corsairs' Pep Rally, whose theme was "Smoke the Green."

By Soren Bernyn
FSN

With their Week 11 win over the suddenly hapless Bakers, The Downtown Corsairs clinched their third-straight playoff berth and the Linardo Division crown. Owner Mojo D and Coach Ray-Ray Lewis were ecstatic, and celebrated with Nashville's beautiful people at the Palm until the wee hours of Tuesday morning.

"The team came to play - and to win," Lewis said. "I think we will run the table to 11-3; the rest of our games are against the division, and they just haven't shown any life. It's like they aren't even trying. In the Jorge, though - that is gonna be some sh*t! I can't wait to see them crazy bitches f*ck each other over the next three weeks..."

Mojo D held court at the Palm bar with Hayden Panty-Area, Mayor Karl Dean, Project Runway finalist Amanda Valentine, a few Kings of Leon and several bottles of Corsair Quinoa whiskey. While the Corsairs' owner shmoozed, the team's Media Diva Rosetta Stone addressed recent articles on the NFFA Newswire, which she labeled "disinformation and misguided, lame smack. It was nothing that came out of our camp."

"The article claiming Mojo D had put the team on a Suzanne Somers-approved diet and exercise regimen is patently false. Sure, maybe a 60-Burger will expand your waistline, but it tastes like victory! Our own investigation has traced the story not only to Somers' manager, but also to a writer in Iowa - you can draw your own conclusions about that, but maybe some people are spending time spreading disinformation, rather than tending to their utterly pathetic teams."

Stone, usually a stoic face for the franchise, grew animated when previewing the Week 12 tilt with the Green: "We will be happy to welcome Goodrow back to Nashville and the Roofie, and pound their prairie ass with some signature Corsairs power. Goodrow has named the team his nemesis, so now we will try to build on that legend."

When asked if the next three weeks are meaningless, Stone exploded: "Meaningless? Are you f*cking kidding me?? The Green poached on our turf before the last game, and there will be some hell to pay. He wants a grudge match? Done, Bad-Row! Plus, the Jorge teams will tear each other up, and we still have a crack at the top seed. Lucky went after Mojo D when he suggested taking a rest this week - he wants to play, to dominate, to be a champion!"

Mojo D took in the scene, tilted his head back, laughed silently and said: "damn, I love having an attack dog."