Corsairs to Retain Name for 2013 Season

Jack White had been widely believed to be the next name on the mercurial championship franchise. Instead, Corsairs Owner Mojo D took out a restraining order on the rocker after the naming deal fell apart.

By Soren Bernyn
Fantasy Sports Network
It appears that the much ballyhooed name change for the Corsairs is not to be, at least for this season. In a recent court filing, Corsairs owner Mojo D filed a restraining order against Nashville rock 'n roll icon Jack White. The two had been in negotiations for naming rights to the team for 2013 season, which will play its games on the roof of the new Music City Center in downtown Nashville.

It all started rosy for Jack White and Mojo D; near the end of 2012 season, White was on the sidelines during  the Corsairs' championship run. Their relationship reached a high point during the championship celebration when White and Mojo D got on stage together to play their song "I'd Rather Be Lucky (Than Good) (Any Day)," a tune inspired by the team's philosophy. 

During the off-season, the pair entered negotiations for White to purchase the naming rights to the team for the upcoming season. The two apparently had settled on the name Jack White Rhinos, but  problems emerged when they had to decide on a logo. (Note: Mojo D's early career included a stint as a designer - one source familiar with his work described him as "a pornographic genius.")

"The first ideas were fairly typical," according to Corsair's media diva Rosetta Stone, "there was a caricature of a rhino with the Jack White hairdo and several other clever ideas. But one day Jack arrived at the negotiations with the drawing of what he thought the logo should be: the white rhino character forcibly raping a amalgam fantasy creature of all of the NFA franchise mascots. "

Mojo D was fine with that, although understandably concerned about the reaction he would get from the league, especially Meemaw Murrman. But just when they were about to sign the papers to finish the deal , White produced a new set of drawings that show him forcibly raping the corpse of Dan Auerbach from the Black Keys."

"There had been some ugly back-and-forth, and that was just too much for Mojo D. He stood up, said 'we're done here,' started to walk out, and Jack White put himself between Mojo D and the door, brandishing the red Airline guitar that he gifted Mojo D in happier times."

Sources say that new Corsairs coach Ray Lewis was in the draft war room when he heard the commotion. "Ray Ray came in the room the way he used to come out of the tunnel. Jack was mesmerized, dropped the guitar and led his entourage out of the room," the anonymous source confirmed. "I have never seen Mojo D so pleased - he and coach shared a glance and threw their heads back in silent laughter."

Reached on the road in Mississippi, Mojo D confirmed "everything in the court filing is true. There's a lot more to the story, but so much is personally hurtful that it's hard for me to process. It would not surprise me if this had been an elaborate ploy by another owner or owners to distract me from the team's championship repeat run. Money warned me: 'there's a target on your back, but now you can tell 'em all to f*ck off and look at the ring.' Now it's back to business as the Corsairs - don't forget your 2012 Championship souvenir items at the Pro Shop!"

The restraining order was filed by noted divorce attorney Rose Palermo, who told FSN "I had all the paperwork ready from Karen (Elson, White's ex-wife), so it was easy. But when I got a call from my dear friend Lorena Murrman to help Mojo D, I walked the complaint down to the courthouse myself. "