News roundup BUBBAS OPEN SPRING DRILLS Brees, RG3 and others take part in workouts

Beelzebubbas' coach Nicky Satan (left) barks out instructions at Wednesday's spring practice, which included a number of players from other teams, including Corsairs QB Drew Brees (above right) and Black Dogs RB Marshawn Lynch (below right).

By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya

FSN Sports

In a signal that the football business in West Nashville would no longer be business as usual, the Beelzebubbas on Wednesday opened spring practice — a move that is believed to be unprecedented in the NFFA.

New head coach Jerry Glanville welcomed the 'Bubbas' returning veterans for two hours of work without pads. “I think it’s fair to say no one will have done more squat thrusts come this fall than our players,” said Coach-in-Waiting Nicky Satan, who also put the offense through passing drills. Meanwhile, Glanville fired what players believed to be live rounds from a Colt 45 near the feet of defensive linemen as part of a series of agility drills.

What made the practice even more unprecedented was the presence not only of rookies-to-be — such as Georgia LB Alec Ogletree and Florida DT Sharrif Floyd — but of NFFA veterans currently on the rosters of other teams, including QBs Drew Brees and Russell Wilson of the Corsairs, WR Percy Harvin of the Sea Hogs, RB Marshawn Lynch of the Black Dogs and WR Jordy Nelson of the Animals. Though he was still in a cast, QB Robert Griffin III of the Bakers also joined in some of the running and throwing drills.

“The way we look at it,” Satan said, “since teams haven’t declared their keepers yet, all of these veterans are potential free agents. We need to evaluate them, and they all were interested enough in becoming Bubbas that they accepted our invitation to come to practice. We didn’t offer any inducements, and none of the players knew there would be free mushroom matés and boiled shrimp in the Palenque Room until after practice was over. There’s no rule against this yet as far as we know. In fact, no rules is one of the greatest things about this league.”

Glanville, asked by a reporter about the firing of his weapon in the direction of players, shrugged and said, “It wasn’t live ammunition, but the players didn’t need to know that. I’ve found that you get a truer measure of how fast people can move when you pull out a loaded gun. Besides, it was good for relations with one of our sponsors, Colt 45.”

Animals owner takes flak for ‘heterophobic’ slurs 

Cambridge owner Dave the Animal was roundly criticized in both the New England and national media yesterday after a videotape was released of scathing, heterophobic remarks he made to Animals’ players last season.

DTA after last fall's 73-point loss.

Following a 73-point loss at home to the East Nashville Black Dogs in Week 13, DTA was seen on the tape entering the Animals’ locker room and berating the players for what he called a “pathetic effort.”

During the five-minute video, DTA repeatedly used slurs against the players, referring to them as “a coven of blatant heterosexuals,” “woman lovers,” “unqueers,” “vagina bandits,” “straighties,” “lumberjacks,” “front-door men,” “muffin stuffers,” “Dinty Moores” and “pooty pirates.” The video ended abruptly as the owner apparently noticed that he was being filmed and hurled his over-the-shoulder bag in the direction of the camera.

Reaction from the Boston media, which previously had been unrelentingly positive in its coverage of the team and DTA (as they had dubbed him affectionately), was sharply critical. “Not even a crushing, noncompetitive home loss in the midst of the playoff chase provides an excuse for an owner to make hostile comments about his players’ sexual orientation,” read an editorial from The Boston Globe. 

“To refer to a player of Tom Brady’s stature as a “straight boy” is an unthinkable insult in this town,” said Boston sports columnist Bob Ryan in an ESPN interview. “Both to Tom AND (Brady’s wife) Giselle. Maybe he wasn’t himself because he hadn’t done any LSD that day, but if that’s the case DTA needs to give us the reason for his outburst and apologize so we can all move on.”

A person who answered the phone at the Animals’ team office earlier today said that “Mr. Animal is hiking the Appalachian Trail and will be unavailable for the rest of the week.”

Reached by cell phone, Cambridge general manager Wilder the Animal said, "I admire my dad's business acumen, but it's kind of sobering and sad to realize your father is a raging heterophobe."