 |
| Guatemalan elder Don Luis initiated Bill Money as a Mayan shaman. |
FSN Sports
When NFFA fans last heard news of Bill Money, the league’s commissioner and Black Dogs team owner was hospitalized in a coma after a mysterious beating at his office in the NFFA Tower in downtown Nashville. Under equally mysterious circumstances, Money apparently was transferred, while still in a comatose state, from a local ICU to a long-term care facility in Mexico that, as FSN has learned, has ties to league founder Dr. Jorge Linardo.
Last week, Money appeared alive and well — though not in person — in making his first public statement after the assault on him in September. Speaking via Skype, Money announced that he had been living for the past two months in the highlands of Guatemala and was initiated as a Mayan shaman during his time there.
In his rambling, two-minute statement, which he said originated from the Guatemalan city of Antigua, Money verbally attacked his fellow NFFA owners for following what he called “the false gods of God, Shiva, Satan, Allah, monkeys, Crystal and Maryjane.”
He also announced that the league’s championship game would be moved from December 23 to December 20, so that “Los Perros Negros de Nashville Oriental” could claim another title before the world ends on December 21.
There was no immediate comment from Deputy Commissioner MeeMaw Murmann, who has been acting as the league’s chief executive in Money’s absence.
Last week, Money appeared alive and well — though not in person — in making his first public statement after the assault on him in September. Speaking via Skype, Money announced that he had been living for the past two months in the highlands of Guatemala and was initiated as a Mayan shaman during his time there.
In his rambling, two-minute statement, which he said originated from the Guatemalan city of Antigua, Money verbally attacked his fellow NFFA owners for following what he called “the false gods of God, Shiva, Satan, Allah, monkeys, Crystal and Maryjane.”
He also announced that the league’s championship game would be moved from December 23 to December 20, so that “Los Perros Negros de Nashville Oriental” could claim another title before the world ends on December 21.
There was no immediate comment from Deputy Commissioner MeeMaw Murmann, who has been acting as the league’s chief executive in Money’s absence.
MEMA Leads Emergency Response to Sandy
 |
| Hundreds of MEMA trailers in the back parking area at Methlon Enterprises awaiting deployment to victims on the day after Hurricane Sandy hit the East Coast. |
By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya
FSN Sports
FSN Sports
According to sources from inside the company, the night after Superstorm Sandy made landfall in the New York area, Methlon president and CEO Dave the Animal convened an emergency board meeting. “It is our moral duty as an organization,” DTA reportedly told those around the table, “to make an unprecedented effort to meet the medicinal needs of a hurting community amid a human tragedy.”
From that session was born MEMA — the Methlon Emergency Management Association. In a triumph of logistical skill and supply chain management, MEMA trailers began rolling down I-95 to the storm-ravaged areas of the East Coast within days after the hurricane hit.
For the past month, MEMA has been setting up distribution points for pharmacological relief supplies from Long Island to North Carolina, with special emphasis on the hardest hit areas of New Jersey and Staten Island.
“We’re a divided country, but this is one issue where all sides can come together,” said DTA before adding with a slight smile: “We invite Democrats and Republicans to come together and smoke the pipe of peace.”
When reached by phone yesterday, DTA said that MEMA would remain operational after its efforts related to Sandy were complete, in order to provide rapid response to future disasters. “Plus,” DTA said, “it’s always an emergency for somebody, you know?”
The Cambridge Animals owner was quick to deflect criticism that MEMA was simply a ploy to increase the territories and markets for Methlon products. “That’s insulting,” DTA snapped at a reporter’s question. “This isn’t about capitalism. It’s about compassion. We’re here to help. You’re welcome.”
From that session was born MEMA — the Methlon Emergency Management Association. In a triumph of logistical skill and supply chain management, MEMA trailers began rolling down I-95 to the storm-ravaged areas of the East Coast within days after the hurricane hit.
For the past month, MEMA has been setting up distribution points for pharmacological relief supplies from Long Island to North Carolina, with special emphasis on the hardest hit areas of New Jersey and Staten Island.
“We’re a divided country, but this is one issue where all sides can come together,” said DTA before adding with a slight smile: “We invite Democrats and Republicans to come together and smoke the pipe of peace.”
When reached by phone yesterday, DTA said that MEMA would remain operational after its efforts related to Sandy were complete, in order to provide rapid response to future disasters. “Plus,” DTA said, “it’s always an emergency for somebody, you know?”
The Cambridge Animals owner was quick to deflect criticism that MEMA was simply a ploy to increase the territories and markets for Methlon products. “That’s insulting,” DTA snapped at a reporter’s question. “This isn’t about capitalism. It’s about compassion. We’re here to help. You’re welcome.”
No comments:
Post a Comment