Thursday, November 10, 2011

BREAKING NEWS: ANIMALS HIRE PATERNO

Former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno's remained unemployed for only a few hours, accepting a position with the Cambridge Animals late last night.

By R.E. Porter
Associated Web Press


CAMBRIDGE — According to a text received late last night by the AWP, disgraced Penn State football coach Joe Paterno has been hired by the NFFA's Cambridge franchise.

Animals spokesperson Leon Spinks announced in the text that Paterno has been hired as director of youth scouting. No word if former Penn State defensive assistant Jerry Sandusky also will be joining the team's youth scouting department.

Spinks also promised in the text that the team would be releasing additional information soon about the curse placed on the 12th Avenue Bakers.

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