with reporters about the “12th Avenue peace pipe” he received.
BLACK DOGS, ’BUBBAS
SET FOR TITLE TILT
Bong-brandishing Bush to
throw out ' first pitch'
By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya, Fantasy Sports News
The two teams with the winningest records — the undefeated East Nashville Black Dogs (15-0) and the West Nashville Beelzebubbas (10-5) — will meet in this weekend’s NFFA Championship at Black Dog Stadium. To add even more luster to the event, the White House announced on Tuesday that President George W. Bush would visit Nashvegas for championship weekend.
Bush, who received a special invitation from NFFA founder Jorge Linardo, said he was looking forward to “throwing out the first pitch” before kickoff. Bush will also attend part of the third-place contest between the 12th Avenue Bakers and Atlanta Smack Daddies. Although the higher-seeded Daddies are designated as the home team, the game was moved from suburban Atlanta to Grey Goose Stadium so the president could take in both contests.
The championship tilt promises to be historic for reasons that go beyond the first presidential visit to an NFFA venue. A victory by the Black Dogs would cap an unprecedented perfect season. Whoever wins will join the Smack Daddies as the only teams to claim two NFFA championships.
Along with the written invitation from Linardo, President Bush received a Bakers commemorative bong from 12 South council member Roz Tefarian, along with a bobblehead Shiva like those given to the first 20,000 fans at the Bakers’ last home game. Bush showed the former gift to reporters aboard Air Force One, which Tefarian’s accompanying card described as a “12th Avenue peace pipe.” Bush also told reporters that, at Linardo’s invitation, he had drawn up a special play, which he dubbed “the Wild Bush,” for McMahon to use in the championship game.
“It will take a perfect performance by us to win,” said West Nashville coach Boyd X. Biggs, whose Beelzebubbas before now had never achieved consecutive winning seasons, much less back-to-back appearances in the championship game. “My old friend Mac [Black Dogs coach Jim McMahon] has a complete team with no weaknesses. Obviously, except for achieving world peace, nothing would make me happier than to [expletive] up his perfect season.”
Biggs announced that Memphis rappers Dr. Krunkenstein, implicated in an assassination attempt on NFFA commissioner William D. Money, would appear at a special Beelzebubbas pep rally, performing a new song — “Salary Cap His Ass” — they had written specifically about Money.
Separately, Biggs introduced former Bakers coach Stumpy Legg as the new chief of concierge services at Club Gitmo, where the ’Bubbas’ press conference was held. Legg, who led the Bakers to consecutive losing seasons before being replaced by the late Vince Lombardi in 2004, had been serving as a WalMart greeter on Charlotte Pike in West Nashville when Biggs happened to encounter him as he entered the store to buy a case of shotgun shells. “Stumpy has also been watching film and offering suggestions for the game plan this weekend,” Biggs said between sips of Cuervo Gold. “We’re getting some solid ideas of what not to do.”
Bush, who received a special invitation from NFFA founder Jorge Linardo, said he was looking forward to “throwing out the first pitch” before kickoff. Bush will also attend part of the third-place contest between the 12th Avenue Bakers and Atlanta Smack Daddies. Although the higher-seeded Daddies are designated as the home team, the game was moved from suburban Atlanta to Grey Goose Stadium so the president could take in both contests.
The championship tilt promises to be historic for reasons that go beyond the first presidential visit to an NFFA venue. A victory by the Black Dogs would cap an unprecedented perfect season. Whoever wins will join the Smack Daddies as the only teams to claim two NFFA championships.
Along with the written invitation from Linardo, President Bush received a Bakers commemorative bong from 12 South council member Roz Tefarian, along with a bobblehead Shiva like those given to the first 20,000 fans at the Bakers’ last home game. Bush showed the former gift to reporters aboard Air Force One, which Tefarian’s accompanying card described as a “12th Avenue peace pipe.” Bush also told reporters that, at Linardo’s invitation, he had drawn up a special play, which he dubbed “the Wild Bush,” for McMahon to use in the championship game.
“It will take a perfect performance by us to win,” said West Nashville coach Boyd X. Biggs, whose Beelzebubbas before now had never achieved consecutive winning seasons, much less back-to-back appearances in the championship game. “My old friend Mac [Black Dogs coach Jim McMahon] has a complete team with no weaknesses. Obviously, except for achieving world peace, nothing would make me happier than to [expletive] up his perfect season.”
Biggs announced that Memphis rappers Dr. Krunkenstein, implicated in an assassination attempt on NFFA commissioner William D. Money, would appear at a special Beelzebubbas pep rally, performing a new song — “Salary Cap His Ass” — they had written specifically about Money.
Separately, Biggs introduced former Bakers coach Stumpy Legg as the new chief of concierge services at Club Gitmo, where the ’Bubbas’ press conference was held. Legg, who led the Bakers to consecutive losing seasons before being replaced by the late Vince Lombardi in 2004, had been serving as a WalMart greeter on Charlotte Pike in West Nashville when Biggs happened to encounter him as he entered the store to buy a case of shotgun shells. “Stumpy has also been watching film and offering suggestions for the game plan this weekend,” Biggs said between sips of Cuervo Gold. “We’re getting some solid ideas of what not to do.”
