STUMPY LEGG FOUND — AND HIRED Hall of Fame 12th Avenue coach reunited with former assistant McMahon

Black Dogs coach Jim McMahon found former Bakers head coach Stumpy Legg working as a parking attendant at Grey Goose stadium.

By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya
FSN Sports

Legendary Bakers coach Stumpy Legg, for whom a street in the “Baker Nation” area of Nashville was recently named, may not yet have a spot in the Ring of Honor at the Bakers’ Grey Goose Stadium, but it turns out he’s been there all along.

Legg was last seen as a public figure in 2004, when he reportedly rejected a contract offer from the Bakers by snorting it up his nose and jumping out an open window at the team’s offices. Unbeknownst to the Bakers, however, the recent inductee in the new NFFA Hall of Fame apparently had been working part-time as a parking lot attendant at Grey Goose Stadium and depended on food stamps for much of each year. “I needed the gig,” he told reporters yesterday, just after they learned that the East Nashville Black Dogs had hired him as the team’s QB coach and “Offensive Consultant.”

Legg’s secret identity as a parking lot attendant came to light by chance. Black Dogs coach Jim McMahon, who once served as an assistant when Legg coached the Bakers, arrived last Saturday afternoon at Grey Goose Stadium for one of the monthly gun and ammo shows that provides an extra revenue stream for the Bakers during the off-season. As McMahon, who said he had come to shop for AR-15 assault rifles, wheeled his Vincent Black Shadow motorcycle into the lot, he noticed that the flagman directing vehicles had a very familiar face.

“We just started talking,” McMahon told reporters at the 3 Crow Bar over one of his favored Morning Glory Margueritas. “We hugged, we laughed, and especially we cried, and then I asked him to come to work for the Dogs.”

By the end of the media availability, many of the jaded and hard-bitten reporters were in tears, too. “It’s a shame how the Bakers treated you,” said Woody Larry, amid sobs, looking for a response from Legg.

Stumpy Legg on the Bakers sidelines in 2003.

“Well,” said the gray-haired coach, who was renowned for his dapper appearance on the sidelines, “it’s true that there were some hard feelings over the fact that they fired me while I was in a coma. But the truth is I’ll always be a Baker at heart. You know, I could have made quite a bit more at the Bubbas’ parking garage but I didn’t want to do that out of my love for Mr. G.Q. Denney. No one will work harder than me to help the Black Dogs win another title next year, but I can’t honestly tell you there won’t be some mixed feelings when we go back to the Goose. Even if they don’t want me there, it’s still sort of my home.”

STUMPY LANE Renamed street honors first Bakers coach

The Bakers front office may have forgotten their first head coach, Stumpy Legg, but Baker nation hasn't, as evidenced by the street recently renamed Stumpy Lane.

By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya
Fantasy Sports Network

BAKERVILLE—Despite recently being announced as a member of the inaugural class of the NFFA Hall of Fame, when you mention the name Stumpy Legg around the offices of the 12th Avenue Bakers, some employees ask, "Who?"

That is largely due to the atmosphere of denial regarding Legg perpetrated by Bakers owner QCurl Sharif. Sharif associates Legg with the Bakers' "bad ole days" and has shunned the former coach, particularly in his public remarks.

But Sharif's efforts to bury the legacy of Stumpy Legg didn't deter Bakers superfan Bill Cheatham from leading efforts to have Battery Lane, a main thoroughfare in the Baker nation area, renamed "Stumpy Lane." With help from the district's councilwoman Roz Tafarian, who introduced legislation before the Metro Council to rename the street, Cheatham recently saw his efforts come to fruition at the official "renaming" ceremony.

Upon Tefarian's recommendation, the council unanimously voted to rename a section of Battery Lane as Stumpy Lane. After Cheatham had spoken passionately in favor of the motion during a public comment section, Tennessean reporter Woody Larry rose in opposition, claiming Legg's won-loss record did not merit the honor. A shouting match broke out between the two, and as Bakers fans who had packed the room cheered him on, Cheatham violently seized Woody by the collar and shoved him head-first into a recycling bin in a hall outside the council chamber.

After order was restored and Cheatham was removed from the meeting, he explained his motivation to members of the media. "Stumpy is one of our team's foundational figures," he said. "He's a reminder of what was pure and good and true about the Bakers. But they didn't even give him a spot in the ring of honor at the stadium. They have Snoop and Amy and Mr. TD and Dead Lombardi, but not Stumpy. And Amy wasn't even real. I mean, how can you have a fake person, a monkey and a zombie and not honor a flesh-and-blood legend like Coach Legg? We just felt it was time to do something."

DTA: ‘QCURL IN ON IT’ Animals owner says Sharif ‘not a victim’

According to Dave the Animal (shown above), QCurl Sharif was in on the hoax involving an Amy Winehouse lookalike who posed for years as Sharif's girlfriend.

By R.E. Porter
Associated Web Press

CAMBRIDGE—An already bizarre story just got even more bizarre.

When asked over the weekend by the AWP what he thought of the news that 12th Avenue Bakers owner QCurl Sharif had been the victim of a hoax perpetrated by a woman posing as the late British singer Amy Winehouse, Cambridge owner Dave the Animal said, “Q was not a victim, he was in on it.”

Continuing, DTA explained, “Oh, yeah, Q knew she wasn’t Amy. He told me all about three or four years ago. It was another of his many diversions to distract the Bakers fan base from the team’s lack of production between the lines.

“Plus, he thought it made him look really cool to be dating Amy Winehouse — and he was right,” he said.

When asked about Dave the Animal’s claims, Bakers PR maven Faith Popcorn said she had “no comment,” and wouldn’t be able to comment until she had discussed the matter with Sharif.

More on this story as it develops.

Breaking News FORMER GIRLFRIEND OF SHARIF WAS IMPOSTER Posed as Amy Winehouse for three years

QCurl Sharif in happier days at The Cherry Bomb Cafe before he met the woman (inset) who victimized him by posing as British recording star Amy Winehouse.

By R.E. Porter
Associated Web Press

BAKERVILLE—Embattled 12th Avenue Bakers owner QCurl Sharif was the victim of a cruel hoax that lasted years, leaving him emotionally devastated, the AWP has learned. According to sources who spoke on condition of anonymity, Sharif was duped into thinking a woman who became his girlfriend and the mother of his child, Curl Baby, was the late British singer Amy Winehouse.

It is not yet clear who the woman is, but it is certain she was not Winehouse. A search of news stories involving Winehouse during the period in question turns up multiple instances in which Winehouse was in another part of the world, while also allegedly with Sharif in Nashvegas.

“This breaks QCurl’s heart,” Bakers PR maven Faith Popcorn said in a brief written statement in response to the news of the hoax. “As he told me earlier today, ‘the details are fuzzy,’” she continued. “We will have no further comment until the picture comes more into focus.”

The AWP will have further details on this story as it develops.