Saturday seven hours before his tragic mishap.
By R.E. Porter
Associated Web Press
NASHVEGAS—Goody Goodridge, owner of The Village Green, was accidentally reanimated when paramedics from QCurl Sharif’s Zombie Corral operation in Howenwald, Tenn., mistook him for dead Saturday at the eighth annual Bacchanal to the Future at Centennial Park, the AWP has learned.
According to one eyewitness, Goodridge was lying in a massive pool of his own puke inside the vomitorium and seemed to be lifeless. Word spread inside the VIP lounge that there was a dead man in the vomitorium and the Howenwald paramedics were sent to investigate. Believing the owner to be deceased, they hauled him on a stretcher to their mobile reanimation van parked outside the Parthenon where he was given a “new” lease on life.
It was only after performing the procedure that they realized they had made a horrible mistake which resulted in a partially zombified Goodridge.
One of the paramedics, Lester Gravely, said they considered killing him and reanimating him again. “Aw, Jesus, the guy was a total mess,” Gravely said. “He was half yuppie, half zombie. Talk about mentally challenged.”
East Nashville Black Dogs coach Jim McMahon said he had noticed the owner incapacitated in the vomitorium and tweeted about it. “He looked half dead at that point,” McMahon recalled. “What I noticed initially was there was a guy lying on the floor wearing a vintage Village People T-shirt that was streaked with vomit, then I noticed it was Goody. I hadn’t realized that the Village People were the inspiration for his team.”
Neurological expert Dr. Brian Cutler said it is too early to tell the lasting effects on Goodridge as a result of undergoing the reanimation procedure. “The prognosis is not rosy, to say the least,” Cutler acknowledged. “It will take Mr. Goodridge years at best to regain any semblance of normalcy.”
More on this story as it develops.
According to one eyewitness, Goodridge was lying in a massive pool of his own puke inside the vomitorium and seemed to be lifeless. Word spread inside the VIP lounge that there was a dead man in the vomitorium and the Howenwald paramedics were sent to investigate. Believing the owner to be deceased, they hauled him on a stretcher to their mobile reanimation van parked outside the Parthenon where he was given a “new” lease on life.
It was only after performing the procedure that they realized they had made a horrible mistake which resulted in a partially zombified Goodridge.
One of the paramedics, Lester Gravely, said they considered killing him and reanimating him again. “Aw, Jesus, the guy was a total mess,” Gravely said. “He was half yuppie, half zombie. Talk about mentally challenged.”
East Nashville Black Dogs coach Jim McMahon said he had noticed the owner incapacitated in the vomitorium and tweeted about it. “He looked half dead at that point,” McMahon recalled. “What I noticed initially was there was a guy lying on the floor wearing a vintage Village People T-shirt that was streaked with vomit, then I noticed it was Goody. I hadn’t realized that the Village People were the inspiration for his team.”
Neurological expert Dr. Brian Cutler said it is too early to tell the lasting effects on Goodridge as a result of undergoing the reanimation procedure. “The prognosis is not rosy, to say the least,” Cutler acknowledged. “It will take Mr. Goodridge years at best to regain any semblance of normalcy.”
More on this story as it develops.
Sigh - the only bad thing about the season at sea is missing the Bacchanal. And Goody has sought a sense of normalcy ever since the first time I picked him up out of his own vomit - I'm guessing re-animation might have helped.
ReplyDeleteDoc Cutler.. with all due respect to your conservative prognosis, the sutures are healing well, I almost feel BIONIC.... a great state of mind going into the playoffs.
ReplyDeleteSutures, if you've got sutures they didn't come from the reanimation. You're not supposed to have sutures. — Dr. Brian Cutler, M.D.
ReplyDelete