Coach Jim McMahon's weekly press conference.
MCMAHON: 'ANIMAL STILL SCARES ME'
Running back Lendale White disrupts press conference
By R.E. Porter, Associated Web Press
At his weekly media circus at fooBar, East Nashville coach Jim McMahon expressed confidence that his Black Dogs would run their record to 13-0 this week at Cambridge, but insisted in his opening remarks, "Dave the Animal still scares me."
"The Black Dogs will be traveling again with members of the Tennessee National Guard, who will be providing security for the team while in Cambridge," McMahon continued. "I realize unlike Fidalgo Island, Cambridge is not known as an unsafe place. But we're talking Dave the Animal here, a meth and crack kingpin whose motto is, 'Be wild, be free.' So, we're taking no chances."
At that point, a questioner in the rear of the club asked the coach why he hadn't started [running back] Lendale White all season. McMahon said, "Who asked that question?" As the members of the media directly in front of the coach turned to see who the questioner was, they and McMahon could see that it was none other than White himself.
"Lendale, what the [expletive]?" the coach said. "Get your fat ass back to the team training facility and I'll see you when I return." White mumbled a response, then left though a side door in the rear used for loading in equipment.
Several reporters shouted, "What was that all about." McMahon tried to wave it off, but Joe Biddle persisted. "C'mon, Mac, why haven't you played Lendale? He's scored 11 touchdowns." he said.
"Well, Bid, if you were any good at your job you would already know the answer to that question," McMahon chided. "Will someone give Joe a copy of the team's year-to-date stats so he can see the Dogs have four running backs with better numbers than Lendale." White has fewer fantasy points than Maurice Jones-Drew, Frank Gore, Ronnie Brown, and teammate Chris Johnson.
"But as circumstances would have it, I was actually considering giving Lendale his first start this week, but after this stunt, I don't know."
McMahon deflected a few more questions about the disgruntled White, then returned to the topic du jour: Dave the Animal. "I'm hoping the Dave's kicker oversleeps again this week. Of course, by now you all have realized the Animals would still be in the playoff hunt if Dave had started an active kicker the last two games. This from the self-proclaimed coaching genius who has yet to score any championship bling.
"But whether he fields a kicker or not, I leave Dave the Animal with this message: Quando omni flunkus, mortati." The coach then moved to the bar for the traditional Morning Glory™ margarita, which signaled the end of the press conference.
"The Black Dogs will be traveling again with members of the Tennessee National Guard, who will be providing security for the team while in Cambridge," McMahon continued. "I realize unlike Fidalgo Island, Cambridge is not known as an unsafe place. But we're talking Dave the Animal here, a meth and crack kingpin whose motto is, 'Be wild, be free.' So, we're taking no chances."
At that point, a questioner in the rear of the club asked the coach why he hadn't started [running back] Lendale White all season. McMahon said, "Who asked that question?" As the members of the media directly in front of the coach turned to see who the questioner was, they and McMahon could see that it was none other than White himself.
"Lendale, what the [expletive]?" the coach said. "Get your fat ass back to the team training facility and I'll see you when I return." White mumbled a response, then left though a side door in the rear used for loading in equipment.
Several reporters shouted, "What was that all about." McMahon tried to wave it off, but Joe Biddle persisted. "C'mon, Mac, why haven't you played Lendale? He's scored 11 touchdowns." he said.
"Well, Bid, if you were any good at your job you would already know the answer to that question," McMahon chided. "Will someone give Joe a copy of the team's year-to-date stats so he can see the Dogs have four running backs with better numbers than Lendale." White has fewer fantasy points than Maurice Jones-Drew, Frank Gore, Ronnie Brown, and teammate Chris Johnson.
"But as circumstances would have it, I was actually considering giving Lendale his first start this week, but after this stunt, I don't know."
McMahon deflected a few more questions about the disgruntled White, then returned to the topic du jour: Dave the Animal. "I'm hoping the Dave's kicker oversleeps again this week. Of course, by now you all have realized the Animals would still be in the playoff hunt if Dave had started an active kicker the last two games. This from the self-proclaimed coaching genius who has yet to score any championship bling.
"But whether he fields a kicker or not, I leave Dave the Animal with this message: Quando omni flunkus, mortati." The coach then moved to the bar for the traditional Morning Glory™ margarita, which signaled the end of the press conference.
