TWO JOURNALISTS MISSING AFTER BUBBAS PRESS CONFERENCE
Apparently defied Chigurh’s warning against ‘dumb questions’
By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya, Fantasy Sports News
Two sports correspondents disappeared Tuesday after attending a press conference staged at Club Gitmo by the West Nashville Beelzebubbas.
Nothing has been heard from either of the veteran reporters — Joe “Sixpak” Shakur of the NFFA Network and Rollin Weed of the Grundy County Picayune — since they were seen with Beelzebubbas’ Community Relations Director Anton Chigurh, who conducted the press event.
“We hope that maybe this is all just something harmless, like they got a little over-served in the media hospitality room in sub-basement nine,” said NFFA Network spokesman Doug Wells, who added that the channel had asked NFFA commissioner William D. Money to investigate.
The media had turned out in force for the first of what were promised to be weekly pressers at Club Gitmo, which has become the Beelzebubbas’ unofficial headquarters. Chigurh announced that he would be conducting the question-and-answer session instead of Coach Boyd X. Biggs, who was “busy.”
In a brief opening statement, Chigurh said that the Bubbas’ had “underperformed” in week six against the 12th Avenue Bakers because Biggs and several of the team’s offensive leaders, including Adrian Peterson, Pierre Thomas and Jonathan Stewart, missed the team bus and did not arrive at Grey Goose Stadium until halftime. “Fortunately,” he said, “the big guy downstairs was looking out for us, and by the grace of Lord Beelzebub we prevailed.”
Before taking questions, Chigurh laid out one ground rule. “No dumb questions,” he said.
Shakur, who was first to be recognized, asked if Chigurh could confirm a report that the Beelzebubbas held a pregame team meeting that began at 1 a.m. Sunday and included heavy drinking by Biggs and the players. Shakur also asked if Chigurh could elaborate on the claim that Biggs was too busy to meet with the media, since, he said, he had seen Biggs moments earlier with Black Dogs Coach Jim McMahon.
After a long pause, Chigurh replied, “That’s a really dumb question, and dumb questions are out of bounds.” He added that it was impossible that the reporter could have seen the Black Dogs coach. “West Nasty is no country for old McMahon,” said Chigurh with a thin smile.
Weed then asked why Biggs chose to start backup quarterback Kurt Warner over Phillip Rivers, whose 48-point performance went for naught Sunday. “You know,” said Chigurh, “I am disappointed to say that’s another really dumb question.”
A silence fell over the room for almost 10 seconds before Chigurh said, “If there are no further questions, thanks for coming, enjoy another round of drinks on us, and see you again next Tuesday.” Almost as an afterthought, he added that he would be handling the pregame coin toss at West Nashville’s Hell Stadium on Sunday.
Several witnesses claim to have seen the missing reporters walking away with Chigurh and two large, unidentified men as the press conference ended. Late Tuesday night, Chigurh was “busy” and unavailable for comment, said Beelzebubbas’ media coordinator Maryjane Livingood.
Nothing has been heard from either of the veteran reporters — Joe “Sixpak” Shakur of the NFFA Network and Rollin Weed of the Grundy County Picayune — since they were seen with Beelzebubbas’ Community Relations Director Anton Chigurh, who conducted the press event.
“We hope that maybe this is all just something harmless, like they got a little over-served in the media hospitality room in sub-basement nine,” said NFFA Network spokesman Doug Wells, who added that the channel had asked NFFA commissioner William D. Money to investigate.
The media had turned out in force for the first of what were promised to be weekly pressers at Club Gitmo, which has become the Beelzebubbas’ unofficial headquarters. Chigurh announced that he would be conducting the question-and-answer session instead of Coach Boyd X. Biggs, who was “busy.”
In a brief opening statement, Chigurh said that the Bubbas’ had “underperformed” in week six against the 12th Avenue Bakers because Biggs and several of the team’s offensive leaders, including Adrian Peterson, Pierre Thomas and Jonathan Stewart, missed the team bus and did not arrive at Grey Goose Stadium until halftime. “Fortunately,” he said, “the big guy downstairs was looking out for us, and by the grace of Lord Beelzebub we prevailed.”
Before taking questions, Chigurh laid out one ground rule. “No dumb questions,” he said.
Shakur, who was first to be recognized, asked if Chigurh could confirm a report that the Beelzebubbas held a pregame team meeting that began at 1 a.m. Sunday and included heavy drinking by Biggs and the players. Shakur also asked if Chigurh could elaborate on the claim that Biggs was too busy to meet with the media, since, he said, he had seen Biggs moments earlier with Black Dogs Coach Jim McMahon.
After a long pause, Chigurh replied, “That’s a really dumb question, and dumb questions are out of bounds.” He added that it was impossible that the reporter could have seen the Black Dogs coach. “West Nasty is no country for old McMahon,” said Chigurh with a thin smile.
Weed then asked why Biggs chose to start backup quarterback Kurt Warner over Phillip Rivers, whose 48-point performance went for naught Sunday. “You know,” said Chigurh, “I am disappointed to say that’s another really dumb question.”
A silence fell over the room for almost 10 seconds before Chigurh said, “If there are no further questions, thanks for coming, enjoy another round of drinks on us, and see you again next Tuesday.” Almost as an afterthought, he added that he would be handling the pregame coin toss at West Nashville’s Hell Stadium on Sunday.
Several witnesses claim to have seen the missing reporters walking away with Chigurh and two large, unidentified men as the press conference ended. Late Tuesday night, Chigurh was “busy” and unavailable for comment, said Beelzebubbas’ media coordinator Maryjane Livingood.
