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| Patrick Mahomes had a message for The Curse of the Champion in 2025. |
Associated Web Press
With their razor-thin win over the Midtown Browns last weekend, the East Nashville Black Dogs claimed the 2024 NFFA crown and became the first franchise with five championships. Saturday, the Black Dogs and their fans celebrated that feat with a parade up Woodland Street in East Nashville.
The victory parade featured floats sponsored by the team and East Nashville businesses including Grimey’s, The Basement East, The 5 Spot, Bongo East, 3 Crow Bar and Aimless Records, whose float featured Elmo Buzz and the Eastside Bulldogs. Buzz reworked the lyrics of his defiant East Nashville anthem "Eastside Bulldog" for the occasion. Instead of “bulldog,” Buzz sang, “I'm an Eastside Black Dog and I don't give a shit.”
The parade culminated at the Five Points intersection, which was blocked off for the celebration. A stage was set up between The Purple Building and Red Door Saloon, and representatives of the Black Dogs spoke to the gathered fans, who had braved the cold weather to celebrate their team’s unprecedented victory. Prior to their 158.9-156.3 win over the Browns, the Black Dogs shared the record for most NFFA titles at four with the Ballers and the Boca Chica Daddies.
Commissioner Bernie Sanders, who was on hand to present the Dead Lombardi trophy to the champions, kicked off the ceremony.
“I want to congratulate the East Nashville Black Dogs for their historic victory in the title game,” Sanders said. “As the league’s winningest franchise, it seems fitting they should be the first to get five championship rings. I’ve been told they call that ‘one for the thumb.’
“So, it gives me extreme pleasure to present the 2024 Dead Lombardi trophy to my good friend and Black Dogs owner Bill Money.”
Money stepped to the podium and accepted the trophy from the commissioner, then raised it high over his head and said, “East Nashville fucking rules,” which brought a roar of approval from the crowd, as well as whoops and whistles, and a big grin from Sanders.
“Thank you, Mr. Commissioner,” Money continued. “This was a season of ups and downs. We started 5-2, but then went 2-5, before rallying to win the final game to clinch our 13th division title over the past 21 years in what we call the league’s playoff era.
“There are so many people who played a role in this championship, too many to name. But I did want to mention a few people. I’ll start with quarterback Patrick Mahomes, who put a 50-burger on the Browns in the title game. He’s the most celebrated quarterback to ever wear the Black Dogs uniform, and his championship pedigree shone through down the stretch. Then there’s our trio of running backs — Alvin Kamara, James Conner and Aaron Jones, who scored nearly 600 points between them. And George Kittle, who led all tight ends in scoring, was probably our most consistent player. He also was the heart and soul of the team, and had the best hair. And on defense, our secondary of Brandon Jones and Keisean Nixon led our playoff run. Great work, all of you.
“In addition, I want to express my appreciation to GM Rex Ryan. Rex engineered a great draft and continued to improve the team throughout the season. But his most important contribution to this title was his suggestion that we get Jim McMahon to come out of retirement and return as head coach.
“Jim, who led us to our first three titles, is the person who is probably most responsible for our fifth. He’s the greatest coach in NFFA history. In his 12th season, he got his fourth ring and his 11th division title. He’s never had a losing season, and after this year, owns a 110-59 regular-season record. That's a 65 percent winning percentage. He led the Black Dogs to championships in 2005, 2008 and 2011, with the 2008 team posting a perfect 16-0 record. His 2009 and 2012 squads were runner-ups to the title. In 12 seasons, he’s guided the Black Dogs to 11 division titles and taken us to the title game six times. Thank you, Jim, from the bottom of my heart for all of that and more.”
Money then handed the Dead Lombardi trophy to McMahon The coach gave the owner a warm embrace and held the trophy high to the cheers of the crowd. He was wearing his trademark shades, but the tracks of a few tears were visible on his tanned cheeks as he stepped to the microphone.
“Thank you, East Nashville,” McMahon began. “It’s great to be back, and it's especially sweet to win some more hardware. Bob Dylan once sang, ‘You can come back, but you can’t come back all the way.’ Well, Bob, I think you were wrong about that.”
McMahon beamed as the crowd went wild. “But really this trophy belongs to the players — they’re the ones who won it. So let me pass it off to this guy.”
McMahon handed the Dead Lombardi trophy to Mahomes, who promptly kissed it.
“One for the thumb, baby,” the quarterback yelled to the crowd. “I know everyone is cold, so I got just one thing to say, ‘Curse, we coming for ya in 2025!'”
The crowd began chanting, “Repeat! Repeat! Repeat! Repeat!”
It's worth noting that Cambridge Animals owner Dave the Animal, who is traveling from the future to the past, has prophesied that the 2024 champion will also win in 2025.
