acts confirmed to perform at the Cherry Bomb Cafe after the game.
CHERRY BOMB TO RE-OPEN DURING BACCHANAL
Sharif confirms plan in rambling conference
By Faith Popcorn, Bakers' PR Director
NASHVILLE— QCurl Sharif, owner of the 12th Avenue Bakers, announced Thursday at an often-confusing lunchtime press conference that he would be re-opening the fabled Cherry Bomb Cafe at a new undisclosed location in the neighborhood.
Mayor Karl Dean, Bakers head coach Snoop Dogg and singer Amy Winehouse attended the conference held today at the small sister club QBar on West End.
"This has been a tragically beautiful season so far for us," said Sharif. Though claiming to be clean and sober for the past four weeks, Sharif seemed out of touch with his surroundings at times. "We are rolling, and with a royal beating of the Black Dogs this weekend, we can keep aiming toward the playoffs.
"With the wave of enthusiasm we are now riding, I wanted to let the Baker Nation know that we plan on re-opening the Cherry Bomb on Thanksgiving weekend to coincide with the Bacchanal. This night promises to be a throwdown of unparalleled proportion. Is Mommy here?"
After rocking his head backward and staring at the ceiling for several moments, Sharif was helped back to his seat by Snoop and Winehouse. The coach/rapper then addressed the audience and revealed that new plans for the club included a basement studio where he would be producing and recording an "incendiary" country record with Winehouse in December.
"This bitch will be off the chain," Dogg said. "The Curl is giving me the total green light and I promise to deliver. Now before all you hillbillies start writing about how distracting this will be — I'll just say that I just whip these bad boys up and turn em loose on Sundays ... ain't no big thing."
After a few cursory remarks by Mayor Dean, Sharif again took the podium explaining the need for security regarding the exact location of the club, and then declared war on the league. "We got no shame. I'll kick all that ass. Eat me," he said. One unnamed reporter in attendance immediately asked "Is that urine on your slacks?" and was hustled from the bar.
Sharif revealed later that the stain was not urine but had to do with a Winehouse incident on the way to the conference.
"She's a hot mess," he shouted at the departing gaggle of reporters. "And that mess has a hit in it!"
